How I Got In Jail

     The first thing I felt was a cold sensation on my back. The next was a pounding headache. The bed was terribly uncomfortable. It was one of those cots you usually find at camp. I sat up thinking, 'I haven't ever been to camp. Where am I?' I looked around seeing nothing but gloomy walls and bars. Bars? 'Oh man,' I thought. I'm in jail.

     How in the world did I end up here? The last thing I remember from the night before was leaving to go pick up some diapers and getting a candy bar along the way. When I moved I could still hear the change moving in my pocket. I took out $11.63; just enough for a pack of Huggies. I also found my Hershey's with Almonds candy bar, now a puddle in my hand. "Hello!?" I yelled. "Someone please! I need to talk with somebody!!" An officer came around. "Good morning. Did you get enough sleep kleptomaniac?" Feeling very confused, I tried to plea with the officer to let me go. He told me over and over again that I had to wait for the judge to be available.

     I sat back down, losing my battle with the officer. Why would he call me a klepto? I have never stolen a thing in my life. All I did was go out for a pack of diapers. Trying to recall my night, I laid back down.  I felt something preventing my laying flat.  I pulled out of my pockets a wig, a rubber chicken, and a feather boa.  "Okay," I thought, "That's completely random."  Staring at them in disbelief, I disregarded them and laid back down.  I closed my eyes and tried to recall my night.

     I left my house, yelling back to my husband I would be back in a few. We didn't absolutely need diapers, but it was necessary to be stocked up. I loved going out by myself. It gave me a sense of fake freedom. One of these freedoms was to buy a candy bar and not have to share it.  I had already found my stashed candy bar in the glove compartment, but decided to wait until the ride home to indulge in it.  Walking from the car to the store, I remembered hearing yelling from teenagers.  After that, my mind went blank.  What had happened after that?    Just then, the guard started unlocking the cell.  "You're free to go Miss," said the guard.  "The real culprits have been captured."  

     Still a bit confused, I stood with the guard and told him I didn't remember much of last night.  I asked him to tell me what happened.  He told me to stay in the room and a detective would come speak with me.  My husband came in the room, just as confused as I was as to why I was arrested.  A detective came in and said, "I apologize for you having to spend the night in jail Mrs. Trejo.  I'll tell you why you did."

     "For about a month and a half, there has been a series on convenience store robberies.  Not really anything too expensive taken, but the mere thought of people going and taking random items whenever they felt like it caught our attention.  We have been trying to track these thieves ever since.  Last night we were very close to them.  They had robbed a random convenience store  and tripped the alarm.  You must have been on your way in because they collided with you.  We think you may have hit your head and got knocked out.  They tried to put the evidence on you so they put a few items in your pockets and scattered the rest around you.  They ran, and when we arrived you were there with all the items taken from the store.  Once again, we apologize for taking you in.  The girls who were doing the robbing were caught today and they confessed to last night also."  The detective got up from his seat and left the room.  

     I had a headache for the remainder of the day.  I never thought I would have gotten caught in a web like that!  The police force felt very badly for falsely arresting me.  They asked if there was anything they could do for me to make up for it.  I didn't want much, but I did ask for a few things.  The wig, the rubber chicken, and the feather boa served my children well, as well as the pack of Huggies diapers.